written by: Carissa Waggoner
As we grow up, we each develop our own understanding of what love is. This understanding may or may not align with what God defines as love. There is a lot to discuss on this topic, and I could take many different directions. However, the primary focus must be: what does God say love is?
1 Corinthians 13:4-8
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.
There will inevitably be people in your life—whether a family member, spouse, or friend—whom you love but who may betray your trust or hurt you in some way. Before I continue, I want to clarify that the type of hurt I’m referring to does not involve physical, verbal, or sexual abuse. If that is the case for you, please know that you can pray for them and love them from a distance, but it is essential to seek a safe environment for yourself.
The type of hurt I am referring to arises from misunderstandings, lack of communication, words that can’t be taken back, or differences of opinion. There may be someone who is having a bad day or is in physical pain. You never know what is going on in someone else life at that moment. Love anyway means to love those that can be difficult to love at times.
Love is patient. This means we need to give people time to work through their anger, hurt, insecurities, and doubts. Being patient with someone who is having a rough season can speak volumes of God’s love through us to them. God is very patient with us. How many times have our sins grieved the Holy Spirit? Yet, God remains there, waiting for us to come to repentance.
2 Peter 3:9
9 The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.
Sometimes, it can be challenging to be patient with someone who dismisses you, is rude, lacks humility, blames others, and disengages from meaningful conversations that could bring about resolution. However, it’s important to be patient anyway.
Love is kind. Kindness means being considerate of others; it involves caring, being thoughtful, and showing generosity. It means thinking about someone else’s needs and demonstrating humility and gentleness while expressing empathy. You may find it difficult to be kind to someone who is not treating you kindly. Let me encourage you: God cares about how you conduct yourself, so strive to be blameless. Therefore, be kind anyway.
Philipians 4:5
5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.
Love does not envy, boast, or exhibit pride. Envy is a state of discontent and resentment towards others, while boasting reflects arrogance and self-exaltation. It often involves claiming that one’s actions or beliefs are beyond reproach, filled with pride and devoid of humility.
It’s important to acknowledge that in every argument, whether we act preemptively or reactively, we often mishandle the situation. There are usually two people involved in a conflict. Stubbornness and an unwillingness to see things from another person’s perspective perpetuate resentment, anger, and discontent.
Bitterness can act like a viral infection, gradually consuming you over time. It’s essential to offer apologies and extend forgiveness. Chose to be humble anyway.
James 4:16
16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil.
James 3:16
16 For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
Provers 11:2
2 When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.
Ephesians 4:32
32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Love is neither rude nor dishonoring. It is not self-seeking, easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Being rude means being impolite and disrespectful. This can manifest in behaviors such as dismissing someone or interrupting them. It can also be as simple as not actively listening to what another person has to say, which hinders reaching a mutually agreeable solution. Rudeness can include name-calling and treating someone else less favorably than yourself. Regardless, it is essential to maintain respect in all interactions. Respect anyway.
Self-seeking involves pursuing your own interests at others’ expenses. Another word can be an entitlement. Someone who is entitled may feel that their needs and wants are more important than anyone else’s. Instead, be selfless anyway.
Love is not something that leads to becoming angry easily. It involves giving someone the benefit of the doubt and making an effort to understand their perspective to avoid misunderstandings. Being easily angered often includes defensiveness, which can result in blaming others. Insecurity is at the root of this defensiveness and tendency to assign blame. Deep, unresolved past hurts and traumas can lead to these behaviors. Even in challenging situations, it’s important to listen anyway.
Keeping records of wrongs occurs when, after saying you have forgiven someone, you continue to bring up a past wrong. You might even start to mentally tally these grievances. This often happens when you haven’t fully processed the emotional impact of the past incident. When God forgives us, He forgets our sins as far as the east is from the west, as mentioned in Psalm 103:12. God desires for us to be in community, united by the same Spirit. This Spirit seeks to reconcile, heal, and maintain relationships. He wants us to live in peace with one another. So, forgive and let it go anyway.
Matthew 18:21-22
21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Romans 12:18
18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Matthew 5:23-24
23 “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, 24 leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Reconciliation is the process of transitioning from estrangement, hurt, and brokenness to a state of harmony, forgiveness, and reunion.
Love does not take pleasure in evil; rather, it rejoices in the truth. So, what is the truth? The truth is that God is love. He lives within you through His Holy Spirit. God loves you and forgives you. He has reconciled us to Himself so that we can be in community with Him, united in one Spirit.
Delighting in evil means believing in lies or accepting falsehoods. It involves listening to the deceit of the evil one instead of seeking the truth found in God’s Word. I have often witnessed situations where a person refuses to acknowledge the truth; they would rather be right by their own standards than be reconciled. Love does not delight in evil things; the thoughts, words, and deeds of evil. Despite this, it is important to reject all kinds of evil and believe in the truth anyway.
Love always protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres. Protecting those we love goes beyond just physical safety. It involves fighting the real enemy (which isn’t flesh and blood) through prayer, standing against sin, and offering supportive words. So, protect anyway.
Trust can be challenging to rebuild, especially after someone has betrayed it. When trust is broken, it doesn’t come back easily. I have found that the best option is to turn to the One you can truly trust: the Lord Jesus Christ. You can place all your trust in Him for any outcome, so trust in Him anyway.
Hope what do we hope for? We must recognize that placing our hope in the wrong things can lead to hope deferred and make our hearts sick, as Proverbs 13:12 states. A longing fulfilled is like the tree of life.
Do we hope that someone will change? Do we hope for reconciliation? Do we hope to receive an apology? Ultimately, our true hope should be in the Lord. This doesn’t guarantee that we will receive everything we ask for. It simply means that while we may want, ask, and pray for certain things, the fulfillment of those hopes is subject to God’s divine wisdom and control.
God seeks to prosper us and has a plan and a future for each of us. We can hope in God, trusting that He loves us and will make a way. He is for us, and His promises are genuine and will be fulfilled. One day, He will come for us, and we will be united with Him forever. So, hope anyway.
Love always perseveres. When you see couples walking hand in hand after 40 years of marriage, it shows they have endured together. To persevere in a relationship, we must commit to the principles mentioned earlier. It requires a firm determination: saying no to anything that threatens the relationship or any thought of failure. No matter the challenges, this relationship will overcome obstacles and withstand adversity. You must fight for it, protect it, nurture it, and make sacrifices for it. Above all, persevere anyway.
Matthew 5:43-48
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor[i] and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? 48 Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.
Loving all people is not always easy. It can be expressed through both words and actions, such as showing someone you care, actively listening, and trying to understand their perspective to reach resolutions. God teaches us that mending relationships is more important than the issues that cause them to break. Love is both a feeling and a choice. While we may naturally feel love for someone, we must consistently choose to act on that love to sustain it. Remember that you, too, were once a sinner, and Christ died for you just as He did for others. You love because He first loved you. God’s love never fails. So, let us act according to and with the help of the Holy Spirit within us and choose to love anyway.
Matthew 22:37-39
37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’
Galatians 5:22-23
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.
Prayer:
God, our Father, thank you for teaching us what love is and what it is not. May we love our neighbor and all we come into contact with in a way that honors and pleases you, Lord. Help us by the fruit of the Spirit within to love those who at times are difficult to love. We know we may be difficult to love at times too. Thank you for loving us. You demonstrate this kind of love to us every day. Your love is unconditional. From the sacrifice on the cross to the everyday detail is proof of your faithful love. We want to please you and bring you glory above all else. May we love fully, unconditionally, and anyway. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen!
Becoming His 
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